I have always been of the mind that men, in general, would be a society of unwashed minimum wage earners if it weren’t for women. Not because they make us bathe and earn. But because ambition, success and cleanliness are attractive. If there were no need to attract a mate, the absolute minimum for survival would suffice, for most of us. So, that is to say then, that men in general would be unwashed minimum wage earners if there were NO women.
But there ARE women. And in that, I can argue against those compelled to believe that competitiveness is a dominant gene inherent in most men. It is, surely. But what are you competing for? Absolutely every war story, fact or fiction, holds at its beginning the loss of woman or land. So here still is the chicken or the egg debate. He with the most land wins? Wins what? You have the land, you have the resources, you have the money, you have the power…you have the woman…now…because you were an attractive prospect. No matter what, it always goes back to the woman…ask poor Adam.
So, if it is in our true nature to only address our basic needs, how silly is it to tell us that to become more or better, requires that we do it solely for ourselves. Poppycock! We men make changes under duress. We change because we are in love. We change because we fear prison. We change because we fear God…or the Devil. These changes may make us better men, but it’s not better men that must make changes. It is those of us that struggle with the innate, the instinctive. Baser instincts drive the [possibly] lesser evolved male and it is only the promise of companionship, or the threat & reality of losing it, that truly motivates us.
I am simply a hairless ape. I may want to be a better person. I may be willing to wage war against foe or affliction. I may choose to shave and shower every day. But it is to feed my own desire to live and die in the company of a loyal and loving woman. Don’t tell me true change only happens as a result of self-preservation. I can make a bow, shoot a squirrel, skin and cook it just fine on my own…good luck finding a woman that will share that meal with you. However, I do understand those that say if you make a change in the name of love and that love fails you, you too will fail or regress. That is statistically true by all accounts. But beyond accounting for failures, which is the only known indicator, I have to believe there exist undocumented successes.
The fact of the matter is, everyone I know who has experienced positive changes in their relationships, got there with the willingness to understand and learn and change together- in tandem. So, men, when you chose to change your ways, do it for the right reasons and don’t ever let anyone tell you that love isn’t enough or wrong. Chances are, you alone are not going to be enough, and that’s just the truth of nature. Coupling is our basest instinct of survival. Its science, look it up.